• Inspiration
• Knowledge
• Wisdom
• Consistency
• Trust
• Entertainment

Let me explain each one a little.

Inspiration:

I am basically a dreamer. I dream to do some thing. But may not be putting my total effort into it. If my friend is doing some thing like that, it will be a lot of inspiration for me. It might be in any category*. I love to copy. What i am is almost because of what I copied from others.

Knowledge:

This used to be very big point for me till now. But now it is reducing its importance. Because what ever we want to know is almost there on Google. But it is still a very big thing for me. A friend should be a source of some knowledge(The one I care about).

Wisdom:

Even with all these knowledge we can not do good without proper wisdom. It is nothing to do what what we know. It is all about applying what we already know. How we react to simple and complex things. This is what makes character of a person. I expect wisdom from my friends.

Consistency:

Without it, we are sure that we will not reach our goals. We 100 things try 1 but that too we don’t do it as we thought of doing. We say one thing and ignore it after some days. Here is where I need help from a friend. If I say some thing which I can not do, then better they force me to think twice. And once I said I will do, better they force me to stick with it. Of course it is very difficult to decide when to force and when to allow. That requires wisdom on their part.

Trust:

Without it we don’t call it friendship right. We must have absolute trust on each others words and deeds (Not abilities).

Entertainment:

A source of entertainment. We spend a lot of time thinking of how to enjoy, but most of the times we don’t find any. A good discussion with a friend is a very good source of entertainment. There can be many other things too.

Seems like other than at home I was successful so far. Now at home also I will practice this. Next time I shout, my wife will get what ever she wants on the next day. Seems like a pretty good idea for me. Lets see how many occasions she will get me to do things I don’t want to do.

Today I went for morning jogging/running. Hope to continue it always. For that I need to get up at 6AM for that I need to sleep before 11PM.

So the changes for today are….

• Sleep before 11PM
• Get up before 6AM
• Go for Running or do Exercises

Oh  wait, Sleep before 11PM means no second shows. Is it possible? I don’t think so. My wife will kill me. Anyway as we don’t see more than two per month, I think we can getup late on those days.

Wish me strength to maintain the consistency. I strongly believe consistency is crucial in life. If we have it, we are kings.

Don’t know what to write here, but there is a lot to talk, and can not talk here.

I think most of the people need some one to talk all these things about. I have to find more people to talk. Need more people who can talk all these with me.

May be if you can talk to some one about all this, then I think you can call him friend. I do have some people to talk all this, do you?

Here are some major points which I think about marriage.

Responsibility/Risk:

Most of the the time your responsibility will go up. In some cases it may go down too(If you have a chance of forgetting your existing responsibilities). Responsibility is a kind of social insurance. And in my view marriage is biggest insurance we will ever buy.  Unless you are very unfortunate, you will have a person to take care of you in extreme situations. Like insurance marriage is a way of sharing your risk with others. As the probability of both needing each other in extreme situations at same time is very less.

Now when you want to share your risks with others, are you ready to share their risks with you? If you are not, then you may not find marriage as a good policy for you.

You can say, why only share between 2 people? lets share the risks with a group of people. Frankly, I don’t know. I think our ancestors might have tried this approach, and may be they found it is better if we share with small number of people. I am still open for this idea with a caution.

Sharing risk is a responsibility. If you let other person drink too much, the risk you have to share will increase too much. So responsibility=sharing risk.

Some people will bring lot of risk along with them and want to share with you, but not willing to share that much risk from your side. You have to be careful about choosing right candidate. But I think 95% of time, you will end up with right person even if you do not choose anything. Parents will normally do that kind of checking anyway.

Freedom:

Your freedom may increase or decrease, depending on from which environment to which environment you are going. And it also depends on your gender. For example, my wife feels that she is extremely free to do anything now, when compared to before marriage. That anyway depends on what you want to do. If you want to roam with many people of opposite sex, you may find that it is not that easy. But there are many other things you may feel happy about. Having a partner who earns good money, cool now you don’t need to think that much when purchasing some thing.

It has not changed much for me though. I have been doing what I want to do even before and after marriage. As I said, depends on the partner. If you get right partner, I am sure you will be have more freedom.

Fighting:

Yes, lot of fighting. But who don’t fight? You can fight with your parents, brothers. So now with your partner too. Is it not an advantage? More people to express your anger upon?

Again, it depends on the partner. Also you may have fighting with your partner parents too if they are living with you.

This is some thing most girls fear about. I have heard soo many cases of this. Depending on the environment this might be a very serious problem. I may not be a right person to tell about this as I am not facing this problem. But as this is my blog, I will tell how to avoid it.

• Do what you want to do. Do not do some thing you do not want to do and feel about it later.
• Tell things on face in the way you tell to your parents. Try not to show much difference.
• Imagine that you do not own anything that you have. Think that some one have given you the place when you are in, and you don’t have anything of your own. When ever I think of this, I feel so happy no mater in which situation I am in. (may not work for every one).

Growth:

Depending on the person you are going to marry, you may get to learn a lot from other person. If he/she is not better than you to offer some thing for you, then make sure all other points I mentioned are in your favor. For example my wife tells me that what ever she have learnt is after marriage. Now, it may not be the case for you. Have to be very careful. I always wanted to marry a doctor, so that I can take advantage of all the knowledge she is going to have. But it was not easy to find a doctor that too with a right attitude.

So that is what my opinion is always. When you join with some one, you can take advantage of all the knowledge they already have.

If you are marrying some one who never wants to share anything with you, or if they do not value what themself are doing professionally, and it will be a difficult situation. (Provided that you are a kind of person who expects thats).

Chemical Reactions:

Due to various chemical reactions, we do feel hell lot of things in our mind. And they force us to act in curtain insane ways. So we need some one to express the outcome of those chemical reactions. What your reactions are forcing you to do? The more people you those feelings the more problems you will be in. This is already proved by statistics in many developed countries. But those statistics are not for people who really enjoy with multiple partners and have the mental capability to manage the risks.

Marriage will bring some certainty and stream line your worries to some extent. But it will also restrict you in some ways.  Again it depends on the partners and what kind of agreement is among them.

Here  marriage is just a name of the agreement which is in general use. You can choose to go for some alternative agreement if you like to.

IPC-498a:

IF you ask me, will I choose to get married if I am not already. My answer will be ‘NO’. The reason is ‘IPC-498a’. This law will give too much power to women which I am not comfortable with. I am not aware of this law when I was married. So as long as this law is in place and there is no way I can prevent some one to misuse that on me, then I will choose not to get married.

I might have missed lot other important topics here. I will take up on them in my next post if needed. So please do tell if I missed anything.

Note: In all above cases when I said it depends on the partner, most of the time it actually depends on you than on the partner.

If there is one wish I can ask some one who can grant me anything, I will ask the one and only one thing. That is do not let me need a doctor ever.

If there is one place I never want to go, it is Hospital. I am not saying this because I don’t like the smell in hospital, but I don’t want to be there. Not for me and not for any one I know.

There is one fundamental human tendency I have noticed in my many years of observing people. We forget. Our memories are very limited. We forget intentionally. And because of this one nature alone we get sick 90% of times.

When is the last time you got sick? And what are the feelings that you had at that time. Did you enjoy being sick? I am sure most of you will not enjoy. And I think it is probably correct to assume that you really hated being sick.

Do we know why you got sick last time? If you do, do you know what you need to do for not getting sick again? If you even know that, can I assume that you will never get sick again intentionally?

Okey, enough questions. Now to the knowledge.

People get sick for 3 reasons(95% of time)

1. What we eat
2. What we do not eat
3. When we sleep

The percentage may vary depending on your habits, environment. But those will be the primary cause of getting sick.

Your body is like a Country. There is a constitution. There are laws that change little from time to time. There is a big defense organization and a economy.

If we do what ever we like without thinking that there is a law, you know what will happen. Soon we will end up in jail and the total country will be at the bottom of the development charts.

What We Eat

Most of killing diseases like Cancer, Heart diseases, Diabetes etc are caused mainly by what we eat. You eat deep fries, you get cancer, you eat lot of unhealthy oil food to get heart diseases, eat what ever you get your hands on to get diabetes.

Next time you eat some thing just as one question, will it make you healthy? or unhealthy? If it is the later, then do not eat it.

What We Do Not Eat

To maintain our healthy body we need some minimum stuff like 2000 calories of food which consist of carbohydrates, fat, protein. And the proportions of those 3 also very important. Along with these we need some vitamins, minerals. That is all we need. Most of decease we get due to not eating something is because we forget Vitamins and Minerals. Luckily I have a remedy. Take supplements. They are easy to buy, cheep to use every day.

When We Sleep

Our body always tries to find a rhythm in your activity. And it will always trying to adjust to that rhythm. If you do not have any rhythm, then it will always struggle to adjust to that, and will cause you sick.

Make sure your timings of Sleep and eating are always in rhythm.

Not only staying in rhythm, we need to make sure that the timings are within the limits of your body natural capabilities. Sleeping 10hr or 4hr is bad. Every one needs around 6to 8hrs of sleep per day. There are scientifically proved times of sleep. Make sure that you are not awake at that time. There are times for no-sleep(9AM, 5PM) etc.

I hope these tips help you in staying healthy and happy. Feel free to ask me anything.

I can proudly say that I have not been absent from my office for any one complete day due to sickness in last 3 years.

I have decided to reduce the consumption of these three items in my food. First I started with Sugar. I have stopped eating all sweets. Reduced sugar mix in milk from 3 spoon to 1 spoon. I have made this reduction gradually like 2.5, 2, 1.5, 1. I am very satisfied with my ability to reduce that sugar consumption.

Salt any extra salt I normally used to eat with curd is totally stopped. So no extra Salt from my side. Now I may need to convince my curry point to reduce the salt use.

I was not able to reduce the White Rice consumption since I started this trend. But hope fully I will start reducing it from now. It is easy to reduce slowly. May be one spoon per week reduction?

If any one is interested in joining me in this trend let me know. We can have a small competition with each other to help us avoid these 3 white poisons.

According to my definition of love it is not possible. If any one says it is possible then they will depend on what that person did today?.
Now you came to the correct point. This is where my actual question starts.

What do you need to hate some one you loved upto now?

• Ability to fulfill the basic needs of the partner.
• Value they subtract from your life.
• Value they add to your life.

Basic Needs

The basic needs include security, companionship, reproduction and physical needs. Almost 60% of the basic needs are normally fulfilled with any marriage. Of course we should remember that there will be exceptions. And it is not too difficult to get a partner who can do fulfill the 60% which I said above.

Around 40% of people do not think more than that before marriage. Another 40% of the basic needs are fulfilled by careful selection of the partner. This selection criteria is simple and well known. Most of the parents follow this selection criteria for choosing the partner.

• Good family background
• Good financial position
• Match of life styles

As most of the parents look for these only, as per the probability getting the basic needs is 90% sure. They may make mistakes in estimating financial positions, and family background. But most of the time they will make good choice.

But the main points to be considered are…

• Its your marriage..not your parents..
• Experience is valuble
• Parents don’t have enough knowledge compared to you
• If they choose, they are removing headache from you
• But this headache is worth having.

So ultimately what I suggest is… Learn from their experience, Understand their preferences, but finally choose according to your needs.

The next two points are very important for people like me. And 95% of parents do know give importance to them. They all are satisfied with the basic needs.

Value they subtract from your life

I will explain this with the help of some examples. Suppose assume that your partner likes shopping. And you don’t like. Shopping costs money, and there must be a source for it. Now assume that you are doing a job and wants to start a business by saving money. Now if your partner goes on shopping ultimately u will go far from ur dream.

That means your patenter subtracted the value(in this case money and time)  from your life.

In another case, Assume that your partner wants u to do all the household work. This will happen with girls most of the time. your aim is to get a promotion and or join a better job. So your preferences do not match with your partner.

That means they subtracted the value (in this case your time and hard work) from your life.

Assume that you want to go to gym every day morning. But your partner wants to see movies up to late night or they wants to talk about what table cloth to buy. Here the choice is yours.

So how to know if they are subtracting values from ur life. It is simple. Just make a list of all the things u normally do and all the things that u want to do. (Excluding things which involve your partner). Now rank those according to the priority. And remove them which are bad for u (This is very important). Now ask your partner about which of them they don’t like and want you to not to do.

All those they are subtracting from your life. You cont make your decision just based on these. You need to compare them with basic needs which u are getting and the value they are going to add(next section).

Value they will be adding to your life

Take the list that you prepared and give it to your partner. You take their list. Now add those things that you like in your partner to their list. Now take each point and see how it will be beneficial for you. It may sound very selfish. Yes it is. We are doing marriage because it will be good for us. Not because it will be good for your partner. It is their duty to check this condition.

Take for example. My partner wants to be a doctor and I am a software programmer. If I consider that it will be two different worlds and we will never know each other properly..then It is a -point. And If I consider that is my partner is a doctor I can get more knowledge in that field and she can get more knowledge in my field..then its a + point.

consider that u don’t talk with people much.. and your partner talks very well. There can be two things. 1) you both may get a communication gap or 2) you may be satisfied because they are able to do what you cont do. so it also can be + or – point depending on how it take it.

Similarly rank every thing they do, they want to do, they have, they will have and finally which are beneficial for u.

It makes your decision easy. because some people give more importance to these 2 points rather than basic needs.

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