“What is love?” message sent by Sowmya. Naveen saw it in the morning.
He thought “Why she is asking me about it? Did I expressed that I love her and forgot? ”
Nope, he remembers that he only told that he is interested in her. Did not use the love word. So most probably she is asking for some different reason. Anyway it is better to think through and reply. So he decided to reply later that day.
Even though he have that definition from long back, he wanted to make sure that he still sticks with the same definition. It is the definition he came up with when he used to have his previous girl friend.
Other side Sowmya saw in Whatsapp that Naveen have seen the message. So she was preparing what to tell if he asks why she is asking that question. She checked the phone around 10 times during the day to see if he sent any reply.
That day before leaving from office Naveen sent the reply.
Naveen: in my view love is an expression we use where ‘like’ is not enough. In cases where there is too much like. For example I love Biryani.
Sowmya: I too love Biryani, but I am talking about love between people.
Naveen: According to my view, both are same.
Sowmya did not understand how to respond to it. This is not the answer she was expecting.
Naveen’s definition seems to explain all the uses of word love she can think of. But still some thing is missing. She wants it to mean much more.
She assumed that Naveen will ask “why?, what? etc” questions. But as he did not it made her feel comfortable. She does not have to worry about explaining all details and worry about what to hide and what not.
Sowmya: What about love they show in movies, where hero does anything for heroine?
Naveen: They are movies. In reality there will be always boundaries to every thing. I can tell you more, but I doubt if you would like it.
Sowmya: Please do tell, I want to know your complete view.
Naveen: I am leaving from office now. Will reply to it in detail after going home.
Sowmya: Nothing urgent, take your time.
Later that day Naveen sent a mail to her.
The definition of love for me is as I explained. Love = “more more like”
Now coming to examples shown in movies etc, I think they are just mistaken some other feeling with love. I would try to explain with couple of cases.
Case 1) Love at first sight
Hero sees Heroine and falls in love with her. It may be in both direction or in one way. Anyway that love is desire. I am not saying that desire is wrong.It is a desire to be with other person. Wanting that other person to be in your life. Ofcourse here love means too many desires bundled together, but they are still desires.
I would argue this is same as what anyone would feel after seeing a Heroine or Hero. Only difference is the accessibility. If some one thinks he or she can have real Hero or Heroine as their boy friend and girl friends, then they will call it love. But just because accessibility is changed, feeling does not change. It is still same. but the intensity will be low, and we will automatically look for options where there is more probability of success.
That means if you know for sure that some one will never love(desire) you back, then we would not feel the same.
Case 2) Doing anything for the love
In my theory anything we do in this world, we do for our self. It may be donating money to charity, or doing something for our girl friend/boy friend, or even sacrificing something for some one.
Every thing we do because that gives us happiness. Some times that happiness is external, and some times that is internal. We donate money because we think they will remember us, or we think we are helping them. So in both ways it makes us happy. So we do it. Sacrificing is also same, we do it because our inner happiness is more important than external one.
So based on this theory, everything done in the name of love is also sailfish act. I am not saying selfish acts are bad. They are good. Every act is selfish actually. Only thing is some are more than other, and it differs from the point of view.
Take for example Hero saved his hard earned money to take heroine to her dream place(some beach, or different country etc). They project him as a very romantic and caring person. But if you ask me, most probably that guy or girl is ignorant or stupid. Why? Because if say you can save say 10k for one month and buy 1hr or one day of dream tour to your loved ones, how many other lives in this wold we could have changed with that money? What if our guy or girl already knows all those possibilities and decided to spent on this dream tour? Would you still consider him/her as romantic and caring person? Obviously not.
I am not saying it is bad to spend on what makes you happy. It is a luxury that only ignorant people can have. Those who know what else they can do with the money or resources, for them it is the matter of priorities.
Case 3) Loving only one person for whole life
Once you go through both cases above, it already makes this one silly. May be the definition here contains set of desires that can only be fulfilled by one person, or the desire to stick with one person is also part of those desires. In anyway it is matter of what kind of definition one would give to the love. What ever the definition is, we can simply argue that they are set of desires/wants here.
People used to say, there is only one right person. If we know little maths, we can easily prove it is wrong. It is just some probability of finding the person you want. We have obviously not tested every other person in this world for the role of girl friend or boy friend. As so many people are finding their true love(in their words) based on probability there will be 10000’s more potential matches waiting for you. Also based on our set of filters that probability increases and decreases. But still there will be many more. So just one person for you is silly. We say it just to make it look romantic. We all know that it is false.
You put any two opposite sex people in a room for couple of days, I believe that they falling in love is more than 30% with in 3 days. (provided they have not had that experience with anyone before).
Based on this, we can conclude that “loving only one” is just the another wish we want to fulfill for our own interest.
This mail became much longer than I thought. But I hope it gave you some useful ways to think about Love.
Again Sowmya did not expect such a mail. It is more open. Even though the ideas expressed are much different than what she had imagined till now, she liked his open expression. In a way Naveen removed all the romantic feelings from the word love, and reduced it to the bare minimum.
She thought she needs time to sink in all these views.
Sowmya:Thanks for the mail