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Sayings for year 2007

December 30th, 2006 Comments off

PROBLEM

  • It is not a problem when there is no solution for it.
  • It is not a problem when you don’t have a choice to choose the solutions.
  • It is the problem only when you know there is a solution and you are unable to find it.
  • Never try to solve a problem which you don’t understand.

SOLUTION

  • There is no solution if you don’t know the problem.
  • You cont get a solution from some one who doesn’t understand the problem.
  • Most of the times you know the solution. Just afraid of implementing it.
  • If you have the solution then there is no problem yet all.
Categories: General Tags:

Sayings for year 2007

December 30th, 2006 Comments off

FIGHT

  • The more you fight the more you risk loosing.
  • In most fights both sides will loose.
  • Don’t fight when you don’t have any thing to gain from it.
  • When you want to fight, you can fight with anyone. But when u want to do the opposite.. you may not find anyone.
  • Only fight when you are sure to win.
  • Make sure that you don’t have to fight similar fight again. Surly not with the present opponent.
Categories: General Tags:

Why earth rotates around it self?

December 5th, 2006 1 comment

From today I will find one are more questions every day which I should be known by default but dose not.

And I will try to find the answer myself. Before leaving I will find the answer on internet. These are very simple questions. So today’s question is..
Dose Moon rorate around it self? 🙂

Why dose Earth rotate around itself when sun and moon do not? Can you answer the question without refering to wikipedia? Try ..if you can let me know…

I got this quesiton when I saw full moon infront of me when I am going to gym today. First I got dounbt how it is possible.. Then I imagined our sun, earth moon once ..and i got the answer.. yes. its possible (You may say that you have seen this 1000’s of times.. But the question here is have u questioned it.. If you did then fine. )

Categories: I dont know.. Tags:

Need of Partner -1

December 4th, 2006 Comments off

Why we need a partner?

We can classify the needs into various groups

  • Genetical and biological needs
  • Social needs
  • Sexual needs
  • Mental needs

Genetical and biological needs: Reproduction is the aim of all living things on earth. We are here on this earth due to this behavior of more primitive structures of life some billion years ago. We are the carriers of that DNA material. We have been programmed to do reproduction. It is the ultimate exception that we are now able to think and stop our biological needs. Excluding our human species all other species do not make such choices.

Reproduction needs partner. This topic takes us to monogamous and polygamous topics. I am not fully sure about why we are mostly monogamous at present. Even though some people argue that we are not monogamous from the beginning, I do not agree with them. Through all the video documentaries I have seen that none of those have supported that we were polygamous some time back. Many have suggested that we are monogamous due to the physical changes in human female structure. They say that the uncertainty about when a woman will be ready to reproduce made our society monogamous.

Social needs: Throughout the history except very few people have asked this question. Why we need a partner? Our society basically copies things through generations and generations with little changes. Animal instinct brought us together. And since then we have been copying our ancestors. Various needs of the society created family structure and increased its complexity.

Death was the ultimate fear for people. We know that it is inevitable. And the idea of there is nothing in this world that belongs to you when u are dead, makes peoples scare.

It is not at all an acceptable thought. And only way they can be sure is by having their representatives in this world even after they left.

Marrige was invented to keep the bound intact for long time. Marriage is like taking an insurance. When u are not well or sick there will be some one in this world that will take care of you.

Unmarried people think that they don’t need wife to take care of them. You may say that I have very best friends and they will take care of me. Fine but this is true until they are married. Once they are married their preferences will change. This change is inevitable. No mater how powerfull any friendship is…It must be reduced after marriage. There may be very very few exceptions. Our parents don’t live long enough to take care about us.

Sexual Needs: There is no need to explain this much. Even one knows its impact on them. The only safest way to satisfy these needs is to have a partner. Unless there is a genetical problem these needs exist in every human. Some exceptional people have much more mental capacity to stop fulfilling such needs. But no valid theory have been produced to justify the advantages of not fulfilling sexual needs yet.

I used to think (may be still) that sexual needs are my week point. It dose not mean they are out of control etc. But It is the one which I am incapable to changing. I have tried around 10 to 15 times in last 7 years to prevent such thoughts to come into my mind. But it is a battle against your own genetical programming. I cont win it.. So I have decided to stop fighting.

Another point in stopping the fight is because there is a doubt that exist all those years..even if I win, will it be best for me? There is no such evidence to tell it for sure. We are ultimately going to die. What difference will it make when you are going to die?

Dose it make u feel happy saying that u have overcome this MAYA? Obviously it has very less probability of that happening. So when you don’t know what way is correct, and you have seen people going on main road, there is very little probability that you will take a side mud road to go ahead. So that’s what I thought.

Mental Needs: We are basically grabbers. We grab every thing we can. Land, things, people, money, name. Each of you us do this every time. We are spend all our energy for that sole purpose of grabbing. Among all other thing we can grab owning people is very important for us.

Marriage provides us a way of grabbing one person for us. You may object with the word grabbing.. The word may be wrong. .But the feeling wich I want to eexpress with that word is right. Up to the age of 20+ all we own is books, some items, and may be some money. Some people own some friends. But it is very unlikely that you can say that you own your friends. Every one have their own definition of friendship. But there will be a gap always exists between your person and a friend. By marriying some one we can easily say..that they are yours..your own asset.

This idea may seem rude…but that’s what we have been thinking all these years. May be fast changing generation of 21st century may not have luck of saying some one their own. But in India still it is possible to say it. So we want partners through marriage.

And one thing point we need to consider here is…We don’t have to do much to get married. But you need to do lot of stuff to prevent from getting married. Our society made it that way. So its easy to choose easy option…so we get married.

Till now our parents used to take the decision of marriage. We don’t have to do almost anyting.

We are social animals. Almost 99% of people can not live alone. Even between all the people in the center of city…If you don’t find any one to talk to , you will surly go mad in short time. But with whom you can talk freely? Can you talk all your feelings with your parents? How long will they be able to listen and respond as u expect?

What about friends…unless you are living with them and still they are all not married it is fine. That’s why people feel that their best time was then they are in collage etc. It is because they are very free and have many people to share their viws and thoughts.

But one we go to the world of money making..u will surly loose most of your friends. They will have their own preferences now. How is going to listen to you at the end of the day? You need some one who can stay with you. Our mind keeps looking for companions always. We need one for sure. That’s why we get married.

I don’t talk almost 50% of my feelings with anyone. In those 50% of feeling I will be capable of sharing around 30% with my wife. That is very big advantage.

Some people say they have friends just because they have some one who listens to them. That is the power of our need to talk with some one. There may be exceptional behaviours. Like some scientists etc.. But for most of us..we need some one to talk to.

When we compare the gains and loses of getting married we get more gains than loses. Other wise it would not be part of our culture. Dose our fast changing society changed this equation of gains > loses? I would say “surly not yet. “

What you will get by marriage? Security, insurance, reproduction, companionship, trusted person, love, power.

What you will loose? Monopoly on some decisions, responsibility.

Surly gains are more.

Now the looses will increase when we make wrong judgment in choosing the person. The probability of having more gains is directly proportional to probability of getting right partner. But the probability of getting right partner depends on our preferences and selection criteria.

There may be some exceptional people.. for whose loses will be more if they get married. Suppose for a person who wants to dedicate life on social service, or for in some technical achievement. Even then also there are chances that they find partners in that field. So with little hard work while choosing we can get greater benefits for ourself in future with marriage.

I will come to the topic of selection…tomorrow… be patient..

Categories: Life & Partner Tags:

My ideas about life with partner

December 3rd, 2006 2 comments

When we ask some one what are the most important things for you.. most of the people will include their partners in to them. It is very common and natural too. Because we spend almost all our time with them. There may be some exceptional people in some exceptional situations..

Life with a partner is one of my favorite topics about which I am very interested to talk or think.  May be it is because I still don’t have one yet (…officially).

When ever I see any married people my mind constantly keeps notice of
How they behave to each other
Are there any problems? if there are, what are they?
How they are planing to solve them?
Are there any unsolvable problems?
How did they get the problem first of all?
Did they came into existence after marriage or did the problems exist even before?
Why did not they thought about them…or did they ignored them?

Like this I will be keep tracking them when ever possible. Unfortunately my family structure or environment did not allow me to get much details from members of the family. I feel it very uncomfortable to talk on these issues with my brother or sister. Even when I do talk I dont feel like I am getting the actual picture.

I do try to get such information from little far..like friends, relatives. But here we cont get all the information. Even with these limited information I feel like I can learn some thing…learn how to make my life happy.

Even thought I never planed about exactly what to do when I am married, I have some ideas. I do get these ideas when I see a need to solve some future problem with my partner. I never noted them before.

But from today I will be making those ideas available on my blog. So that I can refer to them later and I can get some response about those from my friends and family members.

For me I don’t see any one have thought and planed about life with partner before they actually got married. Seems silly statement? May be.. But I am not talking about financial plan or plan about number of children etc…I am talking about a over all plan.. May be every one do..and don’t express such thoughts..?? (is it? i am not sure)

Anyway I should plan…Wait…What about my partner? What if they dont agree with my plan? Fine…I will make sure they are 100%  satisfied with my plan before marriage.

What if my plan needs changes? What if our preferences change? hmm…..this is very difficult thing to solve. There must be provisions for change. Without change there is no life… Life is all about change.. So change is inevitable.

Lets clarify what this plan is about and what it is not about…

My Plan is not like constitution. Its hard to change constitution. But my plan is.
It is not about how to live together. But it is about how to be happy when you are together.
This plan is not for a single person of the family..But it is for a pair. Both partners need to know and feel that they understand it well.. otherwise there may not be much use.

Even thought I dont know what to write here..I can categorise the topics easily…Lets call them cahapters. (May be after some time It may get published as a book? Dont laugh…If it is good enough then there is much chance for that.. I never know any person who wrote a book about this before his marriage.. so it must be special ..is in’t it?)

So the chapters will be

  1. Need of partner
  2. Aims of marriage (or living together)
  3. Likes and dislikes
  4. Life is fun, family is heaven (no..not yet..lets make)
  5. Problem Resolution
  6. When to break (yes, you read it correct)
  7. Change it

I cont start with chapter 1 and start writing upto 7, I am not a writer after all.. So when ever i get a point to write i will clasify it into following chapters and will write with its heading + a number..

Keep watching for innovative ideas and views … It may change the way you behave…(I don’t promise…)

Categories: Life & Partner Tags: