Episode 12: What is love?

“What is love?” message sent by Sowmya. Naveen saw it in the morning.

He thought “Why she is asking me about it? Did I expressed that I love her and forgot?Β  ”

Nope, he remembers that he only told that he is interested in her. Did not use the love word. So most probably she is asking for some different reason. Anyway it is better to think through and reply. So he decided to reply later that day.

Even though he have that definition from long back, he wanted to make sure that he still sticks with the same definition. It is the definition he came up with when he used to have his previous girl friend.

Other side Sowmya saw in Whatsapp that Naveen have seen the message. So she was preparing what to tell if he asks why she is asking that question. She checked the phone around 10 times during the day to see if he sent any reply.

That day before leaving from office Naveen sent the reply.

Naveen: πŸ™‚ in my view love is an expression we use where ‘like’ is not enough. In cases where there is too much like. For example I love Biryani.

Sowmya: I too love Biryani, but I am talking about love between people.

Naveen: According to my view, both are same.

Sowmya did not understand how to respond to it. This is not the answer she was expecting.

Naveen’s definition seems to explain all the uses of word love she can think of. But still some thing is missing. She wants it to mean much more.

She assumed that Naveen will ask “why?, what? etc” questions. But as he did not it made her feel comfortable. She does not have to worry about explaining all details and worry about what to hide and what not.

Sowmya: What about love they show in movies, where hero does anything for heroine?

Naveen: πŸ™‚ They are movies. In reality there will be always boundaries to every thing. I can tell you more, but I doubt if you would like it.

Sowmya: Please do tell, I want to know your complete view.

Naveen: I am leaving from office now. Will reply to it in detail after going home.

Sowmya: Nothing urgent, take your time.

Later that day Naveen sent a mail to her.

Hi Sowmya,

The definition of love for me is as I explained. Love = “more more like”

Now coming to examples shown in movies etc, I think they are just mistaken some other feeling with love. I would try to explain with couple of cases.

Case 1) Love at first sight

Hero sees Heroine and falls in love with her. It may be in both direction or in one way. Anyway that love is desire. I am not saying that desire is wrong.It is a desire to be with other person. Wanting that other person to be in your life. Ofcourse here love means too many desires bundled together, but they are still desires.

I would argue this is same as what anyone would feel after seeing a Heroine or Hero. Only difference is the accessibility. If some one thinks he or she can have real Hero or Heroine as their boy friend and girl friends, then they will call it love. But just because accessibility is changed, feeling does not change. It is still same. but the intensity will be low, and we will automatically look for options where there is more probability of success.

That means if you know for sure that some one will never love(desire) you back, then we would not feel the same.

Case 2) Doing anything for the love

In my theory anything we do in this world, we do for our self. It may be donating money to charity, or doing something for our girl friend/boy friend, or even sacrificing something for some one.

Every thing we do because that gives us happiness. Some times that happiness is external, and some times that is internal. We donate money because we think they will remember us, or we think we are helping them. So in both ways it makes us happy. So we do it. Sacrificing is also same, we do it because our inner happiness is more important than external one.

So based on this theory, everything done in the name of love is also sailfish act. I am not saying selfish acts are bad. They are good. Every act is selfish actually. Only thing is some are more than other, and it differs from the point of view.

Take for example Hero saved his hard earned money to take heroine to her dream place(some beach, or different country etc). They project him as a very romantic and caring person. But if you ask me, most probably that guy or girl is ignorant or stupid. Why? Because if say you can save say 10k for oneΒ  month and buy 1hr or one day of dream tour to your loved ones, how many other lives in this wold we could have changed with that money? What if our guy or girl already knows all those possibilities and decided to spent on this dream tour? Would you still consider him/her as romantic and caring person? Obviously not.

I am not saying it is bad to spend on what makes you happy. It is a luxury that only ignorant people can have. Those who know what else they can do with the money or resources, for them it is the matter of priorities.

Case 3) Loving only one person for whole life

Once you go through both cases above, it already makes this one silly. May be the definition here contains set of desires that can only be fulfilled by one person, or the desire to stick with one person is also part of those desires. In anyway it is matter of what kind of definition one would give to the love. What ever the definition is, we can simply argue that they are set of desires/wants here.

People used to say, there is only one right person. If we know little maths, we can easily prove it is wrong. It is just some probability of finding the person you want. We have obviously not tested every other person in this world for the role of girl friend or boy friend. As so many people are finding their true love(in their words) based on probability there will be 10000’s more potential matches waiting for you. Also based on our set of filters that probability increases and decreases. But still there will be many more. So just one person for you is silly. We say it just to make it look romantic. We all know that it is false.

You put any two opposite sex people in a room for couple of days, I believe that they falling in love is more than 30% with in 3 days. (provided they have not had that experience with anyone before).

Based on this, we can conclude that “loving only one” is just the another wish we want to fulfill for our own interest.

This mail became much longer than I thought. But I hope it gave you some useful ways to think about Love.



Again Sowmya did not expect such a mail. It is more open. Even though the ideas expressed are much different than what she had imagined till now, she liked his open expression. In a way Naveen removed all the romantic feelings from the word love, and reduced it to the bare minimum.

She thought she needs time to sink in all these views.

Sowmya:Thanks for the mail

Naveen: Welcome

Episode 11: First Date

Sowmya informed the team about the discussion with Naveen. She expressed her trust in Naveen. They have agreed to accept the investment. They have managed to convince the VC firm for the changes in investment amount and the offered %.

In 4 days all the investment process is finished and Naveen have transferred the money to the company account.

Even though they would get the required funding from the VC, it is the trust that Naveen had which convinced the team to give preference to him. Naveen also said that he would like to continue to contribute to the company in what ever way he can. So instead of a sleeping partner, he would contribute his IT skills in what ever way required. Officially Naveen can not work in this company due to employee agreement in his current company. So he told that he will come for one to two hours every day after office.

Company decided to hire another 5 including CAD Designer, Electronics engineer, Chemical engineer, Biologist and one office administrator.

While all this is going on Naveen wanted to know why Sowmya did not say anything when he told about his interest in her. Also Sowmya wanted to talk to Rahul and ask more about what he means by Love. She also wanted to know from Naveen what actually he is expecting from her. Rahul is waiting for Sowmya’s reply.

During office hours they do not have time for any of these. In non office hours they did communicate in chats but they are afraid to bring this topic during this busy time.

After 5 days finally Rahul decided to ask. He sent her message after dinner one night.

Rahul: Hey, have you thought anything me?

Sowmya: Doing that only now. πŸ™‚

Rahul: Oh great. Decided anything?

Sowmya: I don’t know what to decide also. I think I have some questions.

Rahul: Ok, ask.

Sowmya: Not now. And not in chat. Lets talk over lunch tomorrow.

Rahul: Not in lunch, Dinner?

Sowmya: So a date?

Rahul: Yes, a date.

Sowmya: Ok fine. Good Night

Rahul: Thanks and Good Night

Next day Rahul picked up Sowmya for dinner even though she said she could come herself. They went to a beautiful restaurant which is little far from their place.

Sowmya: So, we are on a date.

Rahul: Yes, we are.

Sowmya: You have been on dates before?

Rahul: No, This is my first formal one. You?

Sowmya: No, none.

Rahul: Normally, people talk about their likes, dislikes, habits, family and all other things. I think we fairly know about each other.

Sowmya: Yup, but I think there will still be some things we may not know.

Rahul: Sure.

Sowmya: Why not we start with what we think we know and see if that still is correct?

Rahul: Good idea, ladies first.

Sowmya: Okey. Your father is a bank manager. Mother is a house wife. Your home is in Delhi. You studied your +2 in Delhi. You have one elder bother, and he is working in Bangalore.

Rahul: Ya, right, go on.

Sowmya: You are staying along with your friends here. Before our project you were working as a programmer.

Rahul: right

Sowmya: You are friendly with every one. You like traveling. You used to have couple of girl friends before if my sources are right.

Rahul: Not really girlfriends, but kind of.

Sowmya: You are a very caring and joyful person.

Rahul: πŸ™‚

Sowyma: Thats it, now your turn.

Rahul: Ok, You are from Lucknow, your father is a business man. You are the only daughter in the family. You are staying here with your mother.

Sowmya: Right

Rahul: You are very intelligent, and very hard working person.

Sowmya: Thanks

Rahul: You are a bit reserved type.

Sowmya: What does that mean?

Rahul: It means little closed than average women that I have seen.

Sowmya: ok, go on

Rahul: You try to be like normal girls, but you are not normal. Your thoughts and actions always says you want to do something else.

Sowmya: Wow, no one ever said that before

Rahul: Am I right?

Sowmya: May be

Rahul: And you are very beautiful.

Sowyma: hmm, thank you. Anything else?

Rahul: lot of stuff, I know you like chicken Biryani, specially Hyderabadi Biryani. Your favorite color is Black. Your favorite number is 3. You go to temple every Sunday.

[Sowmya was wearing a black dress. Now she knows that Rahul knows why she wore that dress today]

Sowmya: Who told you all that?

Rahul: No one, I am seeing you for more than an year, so I know.

Sowmya: You have good observation skills.

Rahul: Thanks.

Sowmya: Now, you said you love me.

Rahul: Right

[Now he is relieved that she still did not forget about it. The conversation upto now was in a way that there is no such proposal, and he thought she would ignore it].

Sowmya: What do you mean by “Love”?

Rahul: I don’t know, the attraction between a man and woman?

Sowmya: So it is attraction?

Rahul: No, no. Not just attraction, It is much more than that. Like wanting to see the other person happy.

Sowmya: So you want to see me happy.

Rahul: Ofcourse, who does not.

Sowmya: So every one loves me than.

Rahul: hmm, I think you are enjoying this game.

Sowmya: πŸ™‚ Yes I am. Also I need to know clearly what you mean.

Rahul: Don’t you know what is Love before?

Sowyma: I know, but I need to know what you mean by it.

Rahul: If I had known you would ask me in this way, may be I would have prepared myself. When I said I love you, I mean I want you in my life. I want you to be my life partner.

Sowmya: ok

Rahul: Did you ask same question to every one who proposed to you?

Sowmya: No, at that time I never cared about it. I was putting my mind in studies, and after college on job.

Rahul: So what is my number?

Sowmya: May be 15, but not sure.

Rahul: wow, that many people. I thought you might have got a lot, but did not think that number will be that much big.

Sowmya: I know many girls who got much more.

Rahul: I know, considering your intelligence I thought not many people would dare to propose you.

Sowmya: So that that mean I am more intelligent than you?

Rahul: Sure you are.

Sowmya: Thank you, but I don’t think so. And I never thought people will think about intelligence before even proposing.

Rahul: They may not, but they will be afraid of it.

Sowmya: So you are not?

Rahul: With you, no I am not. I like you more because of it.

Sowmya: Okey

Rahul: So what is your opinion on me?

Sowmya: You are a great person Rahul. I like you. Like every one, I like to be around you. Because you make every one around happy.

Rahul: Thats it? like every one?

Sowmya: πŸ™‚

Rahul: What?

Sowmya: I need some more time. I know I like you. But there is something else, I still need some more clarity.

Rahul: Okey, thank you, that is more than enough for now.

Sowmya: Thank you for understanding.

Rahul: No no, thank you

They finished the dinner, and Rahul dropped her at home. Sowmya thought “Every thing is perfect with Rahul, he takes care of every thing. From reservation to pick up and dropping back. His dress and style, the way he opens the car doors for her, the way invites her by holding the chair for her, everything. He is really good and romantic.”

Sowmya: Thank you for the dinner. I had a good time.

She moved her hand for a handshake. Rahul took her hand with his both hands. She hesitated a bit, but she knows that she would like it. His hands are warm, it gave a pleasant feeling.

Rahul: Thank you for coming,

Sowmya: Good night

Rahul: Good night

It is not first time to see each other in eyes, but some how this felt different.

She went in to the house and started changing dress for sleeping. It was already 10:30PM. She removed her phone from the purse and kept it on the table. It is blinking, seems like a message notification.

After changing dress, she saw the message. It is from Naveen, he sent around 9PM. “Hi”. That is it, nothing else.

She thought better not to reply now. So she prepared herself for sleep. Her thoughts are around the definition of Love. What is its meaning, all these years she thought she knows what it means. Saw so many movies on it. So many boys proposed to her. But now she is clue less, what does it mean?

While lying on the bed, she immediately opened the phone and replied to Naveen, “What is love?”. Last online time of Naveen is 9:30, he might be sleeping now she thought. But why to send message to him? Why not ask Srinivas or Ramesh?

If he asks why I am asking, what to tell? shit, there is no way to delete the message now, even if I delete, message is already sent. She can do nothing now except prepare for what Naveen is going to ask or say. She does not want to tell about Rahul. Not that she wants to hide anything. She prepared some alternate story to tell Naveen if he asks why she asked about love. Now she can do nothing except going into sleep.

New Challenge: Meet a new person every day

From today and for next 365 days, I have decided to take a new challenge. I will be meeting with a new person every day. It will be either for lunch or dinner or even a breakfast.

That person will be in such a way that either I get benefit from them or they get benefit or most probably both get benefit by knowing each other. They can be of any gender, age and profession.

I will be requesting all my friends to suggest one person to meet. They should know both of us and should schedule for the meeting. This is my request to all my friends.

By doing this what I will be achieving the following.

  1. Knowing more people
  2. Spend time that will be productive
    Because I am asking for only one person from each friend, I believe they will give me the best of they can get. So I am sure it will not be waste of time.
  3. I will be able to develop skill to talk to strangers
  4. New perspectives and new ideas

I hope this will be a great challenge. So guys be ready with your recommendations.