Expectations are the reason why we are sad

Even though we know this truth, we always fail to not to expect. It is same situation in office and in personal life. We hire a new candidate and we think he will do that and he will do this, and we get unhappy as they fail to reach our expectations of them. We want our close people to be in a way, and we get upset when ever they behave in a different way.

Not just expectations from others, I have realized that I expect more from myself too. I think it is same for others too. We start a new project expecting we will finish it on time. We start new hobby expecting we will reach to some level. Most of the time we fail.

When we are young we will be more optimistic. We always underestimate the power of reality. We consider what ever is ‘possible’ as ‘probable’. As we grow older we learn from our past history and try to give more importance to the probability then the possibility.

Even if I fail in almost 99% of time, I still hope to have some optimism left in me when I become 80years old. (Well that itself is the optimism).

Lets not expect more from others, but continue to expect more from yourself. I think the results will be good.

Future Plans

In one way future is always better than present, and in another way it is very scary place.

Never in the history of homo sapiens our species is more happy than now. We have made tremendous progress in technology and we are successful in improving the lives of so many people. Never in the history people are so peaceful, and more healthy.

At the same time as alien in “The Day the Earth Stood Still” feels, I think humans have lot of destructive power. The success of this species will risk the existence of all the species on earth and ultimately risk the existence of life on this planet. All the progress I mentioned above is all made due to selfishness of individuals. None of the major advancements are done by a group of people let alone a state or country. The problems which we may face in future may not be solved by individuals. It may need collective act, and history is the proof that we never succeeded in that. They did win some world wars, but I still doubt if that counts as a collective act.

I have almost completed 1/3rd of the life. What I should be doing in next 2/3rd time?

Some times knowledge is a scary thing. Ignorance is a bliss. What is that we achieved by knowing that our existence itself is a random act,  there is no next or prev lives, nothing will be permanent, our feelings are just some chemistry, our body is a mix of stardust with some physics and chemistry going on. What is that we get when we know that every one around us will go, they are no different to us than group of monkeys to each other?

We just continue to act if that information is of no use, just continue our role in this global drama, and most of us forget that it is just the role we are playing. For those who don’t know the information do play the role as we are playing, they don’t know it is a role, some do, but we just keep on playing.

My thinking is that given all the information, the best way act is to create a meaning for the life out of this meaningless existence of ours on this planet. In a sense it is same as ‘just keep on playing your role’.

So how am I going to play my role in future?

Keep on acting that I am the one who needs to do what I am doing,
keep on acting that if I don’t do it world will not be better place,
Keep on trying to make friends,
Keep on trying to make more money as if some day I will do some thing with all that,
Keep on falling pray to chemistry of brain involved in luxuries,
Keep on trying to improve lives of people around me,
Keep on helping others in most efficient way possible,
Keep on trying to understand and predict the other person,
Keep on playing my role as best as possible.

Bitcoin: What worries me about it?

I am in favor of Bitcoin for various reasons related to freedom and economy(some gut feelings). But I have realized that there is one thing very wrong about Bitcoin.

All most all other currencies in the world we use are based on some guarantee of the value by some central bank. So for creating say $1000 all they need is a paper and little complex system to make it difficult for others to copy it. So real energy consumed in the process of making $1000 will be may be say $5 (that is max). Ofcourse when we talk about coins the cost may be much more. Some times it may reach the actual cost of metal in it. Let us consider that only 1% of coins are in circulation.  So that is not significant.

But what does it cost to create 1000 Bitcoins? Bitcoins are created using electricity. So they consume last amounts of electric power to produce Bitcoins. And this energy is consumed in the process. It is lost, no one can recover anything from it. So for society, net result of creating Bitcoins is always -ve. As the price of Bitcoins are increased now from $1 some years back to $90 now, more and more people will start converting real power into some numbers.

I have not done any statistics on this but rough estimates is more than 10% of the value is already consumed.

As a person who does not much like waste of natural resources, I do not like this. The people who created it should have found some other way to limit the availability of them.

I may be wrong in lot of assumptions I made above. I have not found anyone talking about this issue. What do you think?

Food for Thought: What are your first 10 questions in school?

We have a play school beside our office, so I do hear their voices. Mostly teacher makes the kids repeat her in songs or poems etc.

I got a question, when does a person/kid start asking questions? What is the minimum age for even forming a question? What will those first questions be?

So think about it. I am sure most of you do not remember what your first questions are, so let me know at least 10 or 5 probable questions that sound realistic.

Hmm, what about me? okey will try to come up with some questions in this weekend.

Useless education? or some other problem?

Recently one of my employee went home on 2 days leave. After 2 days her family members called me and informed me that she is sick and got Typhoid Fever. She will not be able to come for work for the rest of the week.

Quickly I searched what is Typhoid and how we get it.

Typhoid fever, also known as typhoid,[1] is a common worldwide bacterial disease, transmitted by the ingestion of food or water contaminated with the feces of an infected person, which contain the bacterium Salmonella typhi, serotype Typhi.”

So she might have got it through water. As she is not available to ask, I asked another employee

Q: What water do your family drink at home?

Ans: From the well

Q: Do they filter it?

Ans: No

Q: Do they boil it?

Ans: No

Okey, some thing is wrong here. Even if I assume that first employee just told me lie to get leave, it does seem like they are really drinking totally unsafe water. We have spent crores of rupees in advertisement saying filter and boil water before drinking, we have spent lot more on educating these people. But still some thing is missing.

My employees are actually very intelligent people. Otherwise they will not be able to work with me for more than 2 years. They are earning too, from last 2 years. They send money to home every month.

Why do my employees and other similar failed to do the first step that they are supposed to do with the education that they got? What is the purpose of education? It is to get software job and enjoy movies and buy a bike?

It seems like they think they are going to save their family by earning money. How can you save them with money when you even can’t make them drink safe water? You can afford a good hospital, but it costs almost nothing to avoid a hospital.

It does not cost even 2 movie tickets to boil water every day for the month. I am sure they watch more than 2 movies every month. They do even take leave to go to movie which actually costs them over Rs400/- per half day leave. I don’t blame them for enjoying. But some thing is really wrong here.

It feels like they see as education is nothing to do with what they do in life. I feel like they don’t even see information is some thing they need to use in day to day life.

I am not sure whom to blame.

I feel shame myself because I was not able to change them even after having 2 years with them.  It is really confusing to me. I don’t know what they believe and what they don’t believe. One thing is sure, they believe what ever their friends and their circle believe. And what they believe? What language to learn for better job, what movie is playing well, what company is hiring now, what bike I need to buy, hmm,

Note: Most of this is my experience, and my view on what they think may be wrong. If you know, let me know.

Feeling guilty

I feel guilty

  • when ever I say I will do ‘so and so’ and did nothing about it.
  • for using some one without properly rewarding them for it.
  • did shout at some one, and learned that it(not shouting) was actually my mistake.

Of these, the first one is causing lot of pain these days. In last one year I think I might have booked more than 4 domain names for doing different kind of things. Most of all are dead now, I am not doing anything. The reason is simple to explain. I expected more out of my small acts. I stopped at the first sight of trouble.

Luckily, I do get lot of new ideas, and hopefully will try to work on some thing very seriously. Commitment is very imp for people like me.

What about you guys? Same story?

Is it just the cost? or people getting wise?

Last year we could hardly hear our TV sound between 9 to 10 Diwali day. We were pissed off and turned TV off. But this year, we could hardly tell that it is Diwali day at 10:30. It was complete silence at that time.

I am sure people have burnt < 50% of what they did last year. I am not sure what is the reason. Is it just that cost of crackers went high? or people getting wise?

Anyway I am happy, less sound pollution, and less money wasted.

Do you need a lift?

If there is a question that I wanted to ask most to others and did not ask that is it. “DO YOU NEED A LIFT?”

On an average I get a chance to ask this question every day. But I almost never asked. I know that other person needs a lift. They know that I know(Assumption). I expect them to ask. They almost never ask. I think that they think that I wont give.

Whose responsibility is to break that loop? Do I have to wait until they ask?

When ever I was walking other than for the sake of walking, I always expected some one would ask that. But I know no one will ask. I hesitate to ask then for lift. I hope every one is thinking same.

Now lets think that I have changed, do you like some stranger in 30+ age stop by and ask “Do you need a lift?” what is the probability that you will agree? What if you are a Female(all ages)? What do you think about that person?

Please share your views… I have been thinking about it for very long time, I want to find a solution soon.

What is enjoyment?

It happened many times. Many people said that I should stop thinking more and enjoy. Or stop doing some thing else that they thought I am doing and start enjoy life.

I don’t really know what they really mean by enjoyment. I define enjoyment as follows..

You have 5 to 10 times more money than what your present average is, and you still don’t change some thing that you are doing, then I say you are enjoying doing it.

For example, if your job is X and some one pays you 5 times your salary to do Y, but you still want to do X, then you enjoy doing it. That means while doing X you enjoy.

Simple is in’t it? Now fortunately for me, it is almost 90% of what I do. For some people it is going out on road. For some it is some thing else. For me, it is what I am doing already. I didn’t get much enjoyment when I saw Charminar for the first time(after 10 years in hyd). So each person gets enjoyment in different way.

So those people who keep suggesting that I should enjoy more, thank you for your concern, I really appreciate your intentions. But I am already enjoying my life.

Thinking from other person’s point of view

I think there is some thing wrong in our culture when it comes to thinking about other people. May be I am exaggerating the issue.. But let me explain

We see Hero in movie takes money from all kinds of people and keeps running from them. We have seen it in many comedy movies. (Just now I was watching one of such movie). I wonder why we really enjoy that part. I know that we do enjoy, every one does. But why? Does cheating some one makes us happy? Does getting cheated makes some one happy? I am sure it wont.

If we see from the other person’s point view surly more than 90% of comedy films do not create any comedy.

Is this kind of behavior is inherent in our nature? Or is it some thing we acquire on the way?

I will surly do some experiments with kids(when they are available 🙂 ) to findout about it.